Warm gestures, subtle mirroring, and the surprising power of unconscious decisions.

Group smiling and connecting with shared gestures

If You Want to Make Someone Like You

Sometimes all it takes is a small gesture to shift the mood.
Like offering someone a warm cup of coffee.

People tend to feel warmer toward you when they’re literally holding warmth in their hands.
Iced tea just doesn’t have the same effect.

And even the quickest smile can change the tone of an interaction.
A 0.001-second smile won’t register at all,
but a brief glimpse of a warm expression can lift someone’s impression of you.
It’s surprising how much impact such a tiny moment can have.

Matching Someone’s Rhythm Makes Conversations Better

One of the simplest ways to make conversations feel smoother is mirroring—
subtly matching the other person’s body language.

If they cross their arms, gently cross yours.
If they lean in, lean in a little too.
That small alignment makes the interaction feel more natural.

But when they lean in and you lean back,
or they stay open while you suddenly fold your arms,
the vibe shifts instantly.
People pick up physical cues far more than we realize.

Big Decisions Need Space for the Unconscious

Some decisions get harder the harder you try—
choosing a new job, picking a home, anything with too many variables.

Start with a list.
Price, atmosphere, layout, whatever matters to you.
Think it through carefully.

But don’t decide right after finishing the list.
Give it space.

Take a walk.
Do something else.
Allow your unconscious mind to process the information in the background.
That small break often brings surprising clarity.

There’s research supporting this.
When people reviewed information about two apartments and were asked to choose immediately,
They usually chose poorly.

But if they stepped away for a moment and returned to decide later,
Their choices improved significantly.

The same pattern shows up even with small decisions—like choosing jam or jelly.
Overthinking and deciding right away often leads to worse outcomes
than simply giving your mind a little room to breathe.

We rely on our unconscious far more than we notice.

What About You?

Has a warm drink, a quick smile, or a bit of distance ever shifted your mood or your decisions?
Thinking back to your own moments might make these ideas land even deeper.

This post was inspired by insights shared in a lecture by Richard Nisbett,
Distinguished Professor of Psychology at the University of Michigan.